At least once a week I make startling revelations. I even shock myself. Recently, I have been noticing that I have a whole lot to offer. I mean, I already knew, but to see myself (my thoughts, productivity, rationalism, brilliance, communication styles, compromising styles, goals, etc.) in action is a beautiful thing. This is in no way a tootage of my own horn, I am just really, really appreciating me for being me right now.
Soiree at my house in about 18 hours, and I am just now finally having a seat from slaving over a hot stove. Ginger Thai Ribs. Wings spiced with Serrano, Poblano, and Jalapeno puree. Chicken Salad in a Hawaiian Bread Bowl. Penne Rigate Salad with a Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Pesto Sauce. For a crowd of ladies that I hope will enjoy every single bite. Not that I mind cheffing around; I love to feed. God had blessed these hands, heart, and mind with culinary know-how.
Which brings me to my point.
I feel like I have so much to offer, but I am not being given the opportunity to share myself. I am beginning to wonder if these gifts will be become useful in the output of a successful marriage and children, or will these gifts go to waste and become indirectly obselete?
I appreciate my kind of woman, because I am a rare breed and I know that. But, it seems to me that in order to get male/female relations/relationships to fly, something has to be wrong with me, or with him, or with us as a couple period. I can get shit to launch, but I cant get it to soar.
Crazy people dont have a problem mating up. Its us sane people that are experiencing that romantic drought. Don't get me wrong--I meet men, and I get at a few people, but I am lacking expression. I dont need to be in a relationship to do that; just someone who I enjoy the company of. My Aunt Frances always told me that if you want a man to be all yours, you have to show him why he should be. I just dont think those opportunities arise for me.
I wanna share my gifts; wrap them up and make them pretty. I dont want my gifts to go to waste like day-old bread.
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