The Hidden Path

So, for the past several weeks, I've been on sort of a mini-personal journey re: my career, or lack thereof. I have been through the wire, back, and through the wire again with various jobs since I've moved back to Chicago. Nothing seems to move and shake. Nothing is getting me ahead (from what I can see, anyway). Upon speaking with a friend, she mentioned that perhaps this drama that I incur with the jobs I've had in Chicago are directing/redirecting me to a certain career path, but perhaps I just can't see it yet. I do believe that what she is saying a true - but wtf do I, as the individual, do? I have a life to live. I still have to work and be a grown-up and take care of my household. I cannot just sit and wait until the magic happens. I cannot twiddle thumbs until the dream manifests.

I mentioned to my friend that, at this point, I am not even sure what the dream is. I receive much feedback from friends and family that are convinced that I should be a chef, a caterer, a person dealing with food in some way. Previously, I would agree...now, I cannot say yes or no. Food is my passion. I write food, I cook food, I am a lover of food, and I've learned to embrace that, no matter how many people feel that food is not a passion/profession to pursue. However, it has become painfully obvious that I may not be able to "break in" to that industry. Out of the many stints and foot-in-door presumed opportunities, nothing was it. There is no jumpstarting. So, its like, back to the drawing board...? Is it time for a plan B, or C, D, E, F? Its easier for me to move into a field that I have little interest in, than the field I am totally interested.

The hope is that this path becomes uncovered. Exposed to me. I am anxious to move into something different and actually implement skills and showcase myself, for myself. I want to work and feel a sense of accomplishment within that work. I don't want to be another elf on the assembly line. I am not looking for advice, or opinions, or anything of the sort. Just putting my current thought on paper.

Green With Job Envy

For about a year (or more) now, I have been suffering from something called Job Envy - basically, Job Envy is a sickness that occurs when you hate on someone because you don't have the job/career that they have. I can look at people on the street, sitting at the Starbucks counter, working diligently from their laptops and think, without fail, "Damn, I wish I could sit at my laptop all damn day and sip Frappucinos..."

Mostly I envy people who work from home. Some people say "its not what you think it is", but I beg to differ...you're at home, and I am not.

I have two jobs: a job that I hate, and a job that I don't like.

I am currently working towards a career goal, but it seems to be taking fo'ever. Ultimately, I would like to have a career in food/culinary...catering/event planning/food writing/food marketing/blah, blah, blah. I am making some headway, which is great, but again, goal unreached. I want to dabble in some things, dip my foot in the waters, and try my hand at some ventures in various avenues that would lead me to some sort of real-life, enjoyable career.

I recently came into a company that I really wanted to work for. I mean, really, really wanted to work for. Albeit, not a position that I actually qualify for, but a position nonetheless. So, the plan was to work. Just work my way up until I obtain a position that I really want. Problem is, they are making it very hard for me (for reasons I won't disclose today). At some point in the near future, I'd like to advance with this company. Or simply advance, in the true form of the word, so that I can be fulfilled - I don't want to be envious of anyone, particularly, envious of people because of their 'great' job.