Spiritually Anorexic

I had the opportunity to semi-attend a wonderful event with speaker Debrena Johnson Gandy. This woman is great. Anyway, she touched on some serious issues such as spiritual cleansing, and spiritual well-being. Gandy made a startling statement that "2006 America is spiritually anorexic". America, on the whole, does not foster nor encourage upkeeping of the spirit.

Now, I have, for the most part, been very spiritually aware, but after listening to Gandy speak for an hour (I had to bounce early to watch Girlfriends, and so what?!) I learned that I was indeed guilty of not completely taking care of my spirit.

The main point I gathered from Gandy was the importance of subtraction; subtracting all these extras that are not neccessary, or that do not bring joy, clear air, happiness, and sheer comfort. We know whats good for the body and we feed it that; vitamins, good ole green veggies, no trans fat, hell, I cant say the last time I bought cane sugar because I steal so much Splenda from Starbucks. But the problem is that we dont know what to do to nurture the spirit. And that is what I plan to keep working on. I know a few ways to do this, but there are so many other ways Gandy has opened my mind to, and that my friend, is my new quest.

I Cram to Understand You

When I first caught wind of that MC Lyte joint, I never really quite understood what she meant. But now, I can totally feel that--I literally have to cram to understand people.
The reaping and sowing process is an easy one to understand. Alrighty, so.....why do folks keep sowing and expect to not reap the raft? I mean, we have all done our dirt (mine, kinda minor) but you cannot keep up certain behavior patterns and not expect for that sh*t to follow you and affect your life.

You heard granny when she told you that you "made ur bed, now lay in it". One time incidents can be forgiven and sometimes surpassed over time, but recurring incidents/behavior is not going to simply slide.

You cannot keep shitting around @ work and expect to get a raise.

You cannot get @ several dudes that roll in the same circles and expect for that to go unspoken, or for them to respect you.

You cannot keep cheating on ur girl and expect her to stay with yo bum @ss.
You cannot keep telling this man that its his baby when its really not, and expect to live happily ever after.
Amongst others, it is these people who I cram to understand....
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Why does it take for the relationship have to be over in order for a man to realize what he lost??? In the midst of doing this blog, I get a phone call from thee dreaded ex and he asks a series of questions and wants to know "am I still talking to..."

Dun, son, Imma need for you to fall back OK.

The Difference: From experience, I know that women know in the beginning what kind of man they have. If we got us a good man, we know it (and dont need validation from anyone). We are going to do whatever is in our power to keep that good man, and that even means tolerating some minor (and sometimes major) bullsh*t.

Why does it take for us to break up completely, I mean completely, for them to see us whole? So who was he seeing when we were together? Because, I'm the same person I was back then.
You appreciate me more than ever now that I have sought out real love from somewhere else. Unreal.
The Difference: Men are thinking; thinking about how much they f'd up and suddenly realizing what that woman had to offer. Women are thinking; thinking about how she is so glad she left his trifling, stifling @ss and how there isnt a chance in hell for rekindling.

Now, I cram to understand that sh*t.

The Gifts

At least once a week I make startling revelations. I even shock myself. Recently, I have been noticing that I have a whole lot to offer. I mean, I already knew, but to see myself (my thoughts, productivity, rationalism, brilliance, communication styles, compromising styles, goals, etc.) in action is a beautiful thing. This is in no way a tootage of my own horn, I am just really, really appreciating me for being me right now.

Soiree at my house in about 18 hours, and I am just now finally having a seat from slaving over a hot stove. Ginger Thai Ribs. Wings spiced with Serrano, Poblano, and Jalapeno puree. Chicken Salad in a Hawaiian Bread Bowl. Penne Rigate Salad with a Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Pesto Sauce. For a crowd of ladies that I hope will enjoy every single bite. Not that I mind cheffing around; I love to feed. God had blessed these hands, heart, and mind with culinary know-how.

Which brings me to my point.

I feel like I have so much to offer, but I am not being given the opportunity to share myself. I am beginning to wonder if these gifts will be become useful in the output of a successful marriage and children, or will these gifts go to waste and become indirectly obselete?
I appreciate my kind of woman, because I am a rare breed and I know that. But, it seems to me that in order to get male/female relations/relationships to fly, something has to be wrong with me, or with him, or with us as a couple period. I can get shit to launch, but I cant get it to soar.

Crazy people dont have a problem mating up. Its us sane people that are experiencing that romantic drought. Don't get me wrong--I meet men, and I get at a few people, but I am lacking expression. I dont need to be in a relationship to do that; just someone who I enjoy the company of. My Aunt Frances always told me that if you want a man to be all yours, you have to show him why he should be. I just dont think those opportunities arise for me.
I wanna share my gifts; wrap them up and make them pretty. I dont want my gifts to go to waste like day-old bread.