Standby

Everybody has a trusty standby. Someone that, you know, no matter what happens in life, you can always retreat to this person. You can have a baby by his brother, marry his best friend, but then like clockwork, you two will end up connected again. Not necessarily because you love each other, but just because, well, thats the way it has always been. When you're really missing the one you love, when you just got out of a bad breakup, or when you gained 30 lbs., you can always get at old faithful. No problem.
So, my old faithful? Lets call him Pusha T. I have known Pusha T for about 10 years now, and he has never stopped pursuing me. We can go a year or more without speaking, and somehow he never misses a beat. Granted, Pusha is attractive, smart, family-oriented, and many other things I desire but Pusha and I just dont have that it. I think somewhere in the beginning when I learned of Pusha's street involvement, I immediately put him in box and aint never really allowed myself to see beyond that box.
Pusha has alot of wrongness going on in his life. Im not God and I try not to judge, but I think its pretty safe to say that a 27 year-old man, should not be gangbanging. Pusha, why you still hanging out with Jimbo and Ray Ray? He say they don't 'gangbang', but listen, I aint stupid. Im from 47th near King Drive, and if anybody knows where that is, then you have to know that my ghetto pass is still active. I know he aint doing drivebys (hmm...maybe), or walking up to people like in the 90s asking "what set you claim??", but you're hanging with the same crowd and doing the same shit as if was 1997, and you haven't evolved as a person. Smoking weed and dranking in Anton and them basement. On some Menace II Society, and beating up chicks baby daddies cause they aint claiming their kid. Riding around with Boogie, when you know he keep a strap in the car. Its played out to be this irresponsible.
Obviously, Im calling him Pusha for a reason. To make matters worse, Pusha is a narcotic specialist. Not that he has never had a legit thing going, but for him, working the the block prevails. He tried to convince me that he sells cigarettes, like my name is Dumbo, or George Bush. And if he is selling cigarettes, my argument stands even stronger. You're a grown man and your main hustle is selling cigarettes?
I always said that if he decides to change, then maybe I would see him in a different light, and perhaps things between he and I could be different. And so he calls. Telling me that he might be getting a job with the transit authority and that he actually wants to start school again. He wants to change because he is not comfortable with where his money comes from. Oh really? Thats interesting. Great news. Pusha wants to take me out on Friday, maybe get some dinner or something. Really?? Havent done that in three years. Sure, lets do it. Now this story wouldnt have my signature flair on it if I didn't report that I never went on that date. So I guess, in a way, I was stood up...by my standby? Gross. Friday came and went. He forgot. What did he do? Hang out in the basement. Lots of red cups. Lots of Top paper. You know the rest.