Retractions

Buggin' out. Like Do The Right Thing. I dont understand men, and to be completely honest, I Dont think I ever will. Mars/Venus? I wasnt always certain, but shit, yeah. Why do men retract themselves as they get closer to a woman? Thats an oxymoron. We get close figuratively, and then they retract physically. Like those mechanical pencils. The more you get to know her and see that she is more than you ever expected and then some, the more you want to pull away?
My cousin Romulus* is my closest male cousin and we talk to each other about life's happenings. Two years ago, he married his high school sweetheart, and less than a year later, they divorced. Understandably, he was beyond hurt. He did everything he could to make the marriage work, but the wife wasnt having it. She was on her own thing, and made it evident that she wasnt happy for whatever materialistic reasons. She literally took the money and ran, left brother man high-and-dry (and broke), and is now dating a white man (which is probably what she always wanted). At any rate, they parted and for about a year now, he has been getting back in the game.
He has met many, many, many women but no one can compare to a little lady named Janet*. They have been seeing each other for about 7 or 8 months. He admits that he is really feeling her and she is the one who he wants to settle down with. Yet, he also admits that the closer he gets to Janet, the more numbers he takes, the more other women he dates. But, to me, this kind of behavior is expected of him. Not excusing it, but expecting it. Considering what happen with his high school sweetheart, Romulus is naturally going to have trouble commiting himself to another woman. It is not surprising that he will not surrender his heart as of yet, and actually stray away and counteract the closeness. OK so...I can understand why HE is doing that.....but other men, what the HELL is their excuse?
This has been a struggle within my girlfriend circle. We have all gone through this, and many of us, several times. Men claim they want this certain kind of woman. Wifey material. One to their liking and meets their specific needs, or whatever. They met her--Ms.Goal-Oriented-Family-Bred-Loving-Sincere-Non-Gold-Digging-Inspired-Cultured-Great-Cook-and-Whatever-it-is-that-You-are-Looking-For--and instead of wifeing her, you keep her in your back pocket (or throw her in the garbage) as if she wasnt everything you wanted and more.
Men will sometimes confess feelings, invest time, and have the heart on the Sean Jean sleeve and then something just happens, like, disappearing acts. How many times can we meet a brother and the brother says that we are all he needs and how much he adores us, and enjoys the time yall spend (prior to/after/or without any sex), and then you slowly hear less and less from this negro? You done got all happy about this fool and now you cant find him. Couldve at least communicated via Dear John or some shit. And then you have to hear from his boy what truly was going on. Truth is, they ALL come back--he will be looking for you five years from now trying to get that old thing back Yeah right, homeboy.